Sorry all, I’ve been gone for a week after I threw my back out. I’ve been on pain meds and who knows what I’d say with meds in my system! But, I’m no longer in pain or on meds….. so, I’m back! See what I did there! ☺️ How did I pull my back you ask? I was doing a very strenuous task…putting my tea cup in the dish washer! I know, I know! Look, I’ve literally thrown my back out sneezing, so this was an improvement. But, after my last experience with my back, I immediately went and stretched, hoping I would not have another episode as I had before.
Picture it. Sicily…1937…..ok, more like Kansas City, 2023…..I honestly don’t remember how I threw my back out, but I did…and it hurt! At this point in time I had moved back to KC from California and was staying with my mom (while I looked for my own place). I was laying on the couch with a heating pad for most of the day until I felt maybe taking a hot shower would help. I slowly made my way to the shower, using the bathroom off of my mom’s bedroom. The water felt good but after a while my back was hurting too bad to stand. I turned off the water and went to dry off. Once I stepped out of the shower, my body was cold immediately and my back seized. I was in so much pain, I fell to the floor. There I was, butt-ass naked, laying on the floor, screaming for my oldest daughter to come help me…. There was no position I could get into that didn’t have me in a world of hurt. I was trying to take deep breaths, relax my muscles, but nothing was helping. My daughter couldn’t even get my underwear up my legs without me crying out in pain! The ambulance had to be called…….
The EMTs finally arrived and my daughter somehow got my pajamas on me. They put me on a bag that they could maneuver through my mom’s house because a stretcher would not fit. I was halfway through the house when the EMT at my feet dropped me! He freaking dropped me! Never mind wondering if I was a chub – who the “F” drops a patient?!?!? This guy did! I felt like my back snapped in half. They got me outside and put me on the stretcher. It was raining, I was freezing and crying because I was in so much pain. And – to top it off – they covered my face and body with a black blanket! It looked like a dead body coming out of my mom’s house! Well, I may as well have been…. I’ve never felt pain like that before! The pain continued as I was loaded into the ambulance. The ride was horrible! The EMT riding in the back with me asked what hospital I wanted to go to. I told her the VA and she said that the VA doesn’t take back patients. I looked at her like she had 5 heads. She said she’d call it in but I should expect them to deny me. She called the VA, the individual at the VA asked how far out we were….the EMT responded with 15 minutes. The VA rep said, “Copy that. See you in 15 mins”. Hmmmmmm. I thought they didn’t take back patients?!?!
Once I arrived at the VA, I was transferred to a bed and finally got some pain meds through an IV. I had to be taken to x-ray 🩻 to see if there was damage. By this time, my mom and daughters were there and had been taken back to my room in the ER. When I was in x-ray I told the nurses who transported me that there was no way I could move to the x-ray table as I was in too much pain. She told me not to worry as the mattress I was on inflated so they could push it onto the table. Well, once I was in the x-ray room the tech was on one side of the table, ready for the nurse to push the inflatable mattress onto the table. And – she pushed too hard and the mattress went flying over the table, into the tech. I was sideways with my face in the tech’s crotch! This night just kept getting better and better…The tech pushed the mattress up and was finally able to take some X-rays. She then told me she needed me to try and roll to my side so she could get some x-rays from that angle. I responded with, “You couldn’t have got them while I was laying sideways with my face in your crotch?” Both her and the nurse couldn’t stop laughing. When I was being rolled out of x-ray, the tech said, “Thank you for being so fun!” Seriously?!?!?
When I returned to my ER room the doctor came in a bit later and said I didn’t have any damage and that she was going to give me some pain meds to take home to relax my muscles. I slowly tried to get off the bed to put my jacket on. My younger daughter brought me shoes…Hocus Pocus crocs! They were orange, purple and sparkly! I looked at her and she said, “They’re easier for you to put on. And, I’ll even put them in sport mode!” (As she put the back strap down). It hurt too much to laugh but my mom, daughters and the nurse had no problem! Then, as if the night wasn’t ridiculous enough my mom asked the nurse what they were going to do with the tarp-like bag I was brought in on. The nurse told my mom it would be thrown out. Then, wait for it…….. my mom asked if she could have it! The nurse asked why and, wait for it again….. my mom said it would be great for hauling firewood! Seriously?!?!?!? But – she was given the tarp!!
I was released with lots of meds…. And I was more than ready to go home and sleep. My back was still hurting pretty bad but the meds were taking the edge off. It took about 3 weeks for me to recover completely from that episode. Note: I have cysts along my spine that the neurosurgeon watches closely. I had to go in for an MRI to ensure I was doing ok and that the cysts hadn’t grown, etc. I do this every six months but this episode was a doozy! Moral of the story – nothing. I got nothing!
Until next time…xoxo
Tracy
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