Why do people stay in relationships with individuals who are not good for them? Why can’t they see that the person is not good for them while they are in the relationship? Mental and emotional abuse is a real thing. I can say that at this point in the relationship, I was not telling everyone what was really going on. An outsider would think everything was all roses, unicorns and glitter! That was definitely not the case. While we were separated and not speaking, I knew that he was still checking on me through my social media as he would comment or like something I posted. Then, I would eventually receive something to this effect and the cycle would start all over…
Again, at this point in our relationship I thought I could help him. I thought I was his one true love (the love of his life) because that’s what he would tell me…and who doesn’t want to hear that?! I seriously had the rose-colored glasses on. Crap – I had kaleidoscope glasses on! I was seeing all sorts of colors and shapes! But – this is how often he would switch up on me. He sent this text on November 14th. That same year, he was angry for something and stopped talking to me again by Thanksgiving. During this break I actually took myself to therapy and started doing work on myself. I was starting to make really good progress with my self-esteem and confidence. So much so that when I went home for the holidays, I did a pinup photo shoot. I posted some of those photos on my social media and heard from Mr. FP (of course)! He actually text me on Christmas Day telling me “Merry Christmas” but I did not respond. I had moved on. Look, I was a changed woman.
I did feel better about myself and I was doing great back at work in the new year. I was still going to therapy, working on myself, doing all the things. And then….I received the longest email from Mr. FP telling me how sorry he was for everything, how much he loved me, how he couldn’t live without me and could I please just talk to him. And then, I put those kaleidoscope glasses on, picked my favorite horse out on his carousel of ridiculousness…and hoped for the best!
Until next time…xoxo
Tracy
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