Ahhhh, divorce court. Nothing says romance quite like spending the day listening to your fiancé’s soon-to-be ex-wife air out the family laundry in front of a judge.
And apparently, I had a front-row seat. Via text message.
At this point in our story, I was still living in Florida, preparing to uproot my entire life and move my two daughters across the country to Nevada. Fighter Pilot Dude had flown back to Florida for his divorce hearing and, naturally, was staying at my house.
Now, let’s revisit something we’ve discussed before.
Fighter Pilot Dude had RULES.
If I went out with friends, he wanted to know who I was with, where I was going, what we were doing, and when I’d be home. And heaven forbid I wasn’t readily available by phone.
You’d have thought I was required to file a flight plan just to have a glass of wine with my girlfriends.
But those rules?
Oh, those were exclusively for ME.
Fighter Pilot Dude operated under an entirely different set of regulations. Apparently, his aircraft was exempt from air traffic control.
Anyway, the morning of his divorce hearing arrived.
He asked me to stay close to my phone because he needed my support.
Of course. I was his fiancée. I loved him. I wanted to be there for him during what was undoubtedly going to be a difficult day.
And difficult it was.
The texts came pouring in.
His soon-to-be ex was allegedly bringing up the children’s therapy appointments and using them against him. There were accusations about sexually transmitted diseases. There were arguments, allegations, and enough drama to fill an entire season of reality television.
And through it all, I was responding, reassuring, listening, and doing my best to support him.
He kept telling me how horrible everything was and how he couldn’t wait to get back to my house.
He needed me.
Well, isn’t that sweet?
Until suddenly…
The hearing was over.
And Fighter Pilot Dude informed me that he, his soon-to-be ex-wife, and their two children were all going out to dinner together.
Oh.
And I shouldn’t wait up.
EXCUSE ME?!
Let me make sure I have this right.
I couldn’t go out for a glass of wine without providing a detailed itinerary, passenger manifest, and regular status updates.
But you can spend the entire day telling me how awful your soon-to-be ex-wife is, how desperately you need my support, and how you can’t wait to get back to me…
Only to announce that you’re all heading out for a lovely family dinner?
And don’t wait up?
Sir.
WHAT?!
Now, before anyone gets their knickers in a twist, let me clarify something.
I had absolutely no problem with him spending time with his children. None. In fact, I encouraged it.
And if the two parents could put their differences aside long enough to have a peaceful dinner with their kids, wonderful!
But you cannot spend an entire relationship policing your partner’s whereabouts, friendships, and phone availability, then act completely bewildered when she questions your sudden change of plans.
Especially after spending the entire day making her your emotional support hotline.
And here’s the best part.
He genuinely didn’t understand why I was upset.
Not a clue.
I used to ask him a question all the time.
“Do you HEAR yourself?”
Because I swear, sometimes I wondered if the words leaving his mouth ever made a connecting flight to his brain.
The red flags weren’t even waving anymore.
They’d formed their own aerobatic demonstration team.
And Fighter Pilot Dude was flying lead.
He came home that night looking for a fight. Apparently, after spending the day battling it out in divorce court, he still had enough ammunition left for me.
Because that’s what he did. He argued. With his ex-wife. With me. With seemingly anyone willing to engage.
And if there wasn’t an argument to be had?
He’d find one.
Some people come home looking for peace. Fighter Pilot Dude came home looking for a target.
And there I was, preparing to move my entire life across the country to marry him.
The warning signs weren’t subtle.
I just hadn’t realized I was standing on the flight line.
Until next time…..xoxo
Tracy
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