“They told me to get a card.” Cool. What card?!

My mom asked me to talk to one of her friends because she had a question about the VA.

Sure, Madre. Anything else I can do for you?

As it turns out, her friend’s husband—a Vietnam veteran—had recently been rated 100% service-connected disabled.

First, can we stop right there for a second?

Vietnam veteran. Recently rated 100%.

Which is your friendly Fairy Groundmother reminder that it is NEVER too late to look into your VA benefits, file a claim, or see whether something has changed.

Okay. Back to our regularly scheduled confusion.

My mom’s friend had been asking her questions, and by the time the story got to me, I felt like I’d wandered into the Golden Girls version of Who’s on First?

“The person at the VA said I need to get my ID card.”

What ID card?

“My VA ID card.”

For you?

“Yes.”

From the VA?

“I think so.”

What are you trying to DO with this card?

“Well, they said I can use the commissary and exchange.”

AAAAAAHHHHHH.

Now I get it, grasshoppa.

She wasn’t talking about some mysterious spouse VA card. She was talking about a Department of Defense Uniformed Services ID and Privilege Card—the card that can give an eligible spouse access to things like the commissary, exchange and certain MWR privileges.

Great! Mystery solved. Let’s get back into the Mystery Machine Shaggy.

Except now we have to translate “go get your card” into what that actually means.

Because apparently we’re doing a scavenger hunt.

You’ll generally need documentation establishing the veteran’s eligibility, the veteran’s service connected award letter stating 100%, the veteran’s DD-214, your marriage certificate, and two acceptable forms of identification.

Driver’s license? Yes.

Passport? Yes.

Costco card? Ma’am. No.

Then you need to find a RAPIDS/DEERS ID card office and make an appointment.

And depending on the installation and your situation, there may be additional requirements for getting onto the base itself—which can mean a stop at the visitor center with the appropriate documentation and identification.

Easy peasy, right?

Sure.

Unless you’re 75+ years old and somebody simply told you:

“Go get your card.”

THAT is the part that bothers me.

My mom’s friend wasn’t confused because she wasn’t capable of understanding the process. She was confused because nobody actually explained the process to her.

There is a huge difference.

If you work with veterans and their families—VA, VSO, DoD, wherever—please remember that the language you use every day may be completely foreign to the person standing in front of you.

Tell them what card.
Tell them why they need it.
Tell them where to go.
Tell them what to bring.

Don’t just tell someone to “get the card.”

Especially when you’re talking to an older veteran or spouse who may be navigating these benefits for the very first time.

They served.

Their families served right alongside them in ways that don’t always show up on a DD-214.

They shouldn’t need a retired Air Force officer, her mother, the Golden Girls and Abbott & Costello to figure out what the hell you meant.

Do better. Explain better. Help people better.

Until next time…xoxo

Tracy