The majority of individuals don’t get to their fifties without some relationship baggage and I am no different. I, however, have been to therapy to help deal with and unpack my baggage, whereas there are MANY individuals who have NOT. I seem to attract those whose baggage comes in the form of living with their soon-to-be ex-wife (or, so they say)…..and – I have been asked to have patience. Patience with ……..
- The individual comparing me to his soon to be ex-wife because of something I said. Even though my intention was in no way coming from the same place (again, baggage). However, this same individual knows my history with men and their soon-to-be ex-wives but I’m still expected to have patience with him living with his while there is no date for a divorce or even a filing of paperwork.
- Communication. Everyone needs this and I understand this. However, when you are in the beginning of a relationship, and really anytime thereafter, communication is key. You have to tell the person what your needs for communication are. I specifically said that I require more than Good morning and Goodnight. I know there are days that you may not have a lot to talk about but I haven’t had that happen to me yet! SURPRISE! Anyways – I have actually received LESS than Good morning and Goodnight. Going days without communication is a big red flag for me.
- The idea that all of a sudden everything will just be OK. What I mean by this is that even with therapy everyone has to work through things daily. Therapists aren’t magicians. They can’t wave a wand and tell you that you’re all better! Dealing with emotional baggage is an ongoing process that you do every day.
- Being a secret because this person is still married. Being told “I love you” in private because no one else can know.
Patience? Are we really talking about patience here? I don’t think so. I have two daughters and I have to think what I would say to them if they came to me and told me someone was treating them this way. Honestly, my advice would be to walk away. I’m a very good person with an extremely good heart. I’ve done the work on myself and I know my worth. I do this blog so that people, both men and women, can see there are others “going through it” just like they are, and they can relate. If you’ve gone through anything similar, please comment. I’d love to hear from you! It’s July! Claim your Independence!
xoxo,
Tracy
Leave a Reply